You’re engaged! You’re in it for the long haul. But hiccups and disagreements happen to everyone – especially during the stressful period of wedding planning. Here’s some advice on how to handle those moments, reach a level of mutual understanding, and keep moving toward that happily ever after.

Verbal Acknowledgment

Your wants and needs and your partner’s wants and needs are both important. That seems like a no-brainer, right? But they might need a reminder. It can strengthen your relationship to verbally emphasize to your partner that you care. A little “I want you to be happy” can go a long way.

In Practice

Your partner wants to throw a big engagement bash, but you’d rather have something smaller. Explain that you understand she really wants to have a big celebration, but you would be happier with an intimate gathering. Then sit down together and go over the list of invitations so that you can try to meet in the middle.

Establish Timelines

Don’t get into the mindset of “if I wait until the last minute, I’ll get what I want.” Instead, establish realistic timelines for your wants. If you and your partner work together ahead of time to reach a happy medium, neither of you will have to cave in a last-minute frenzy.

In Practice

You want to order flowers from an incredible florist – but they are pricey. Your partner is not as thrilled with the price tag. If you wait until the last minute, you either get the flowers from them but pay more for last minute ordering, or you don’t get flowers from them and are stuck with slim pickings by ordering from others. Instead, sit down ahead of time and determine what the comfortable price point is for flowers. Consider ordering your bouquets from the incredible florist, and using flowers from a farmer’s market or local shop for the decorative flowers. Have a game plan in place so that nothing has to be last minute.

Understand the Importance

If you take the time to develop an understanding of why certain things are of great importance to your partner, you will be better equipped to make decisions and compromises. What is causing your partner to feel how they are feeling?

In Practice

Your partner’s mother asked to host your bridal shower, but you wanted your own mother to host it. You work to understand that it is important to your partner that their mother feels like a part of the process. To meet in the middle, you have your mother coordinate with your partner’s mother to plan the shower together.

Not Everything is a Compromise

You and your partner both deserve to have your wedding wishes come true. The compromises you make should be for one another, not for your guest list.

Remember that your guests are coming to support you on your special day, and if you are enjoying yourself, your guests will enjoy themselves as well.

In Practice

If Aunt Judy doesn’t like to eat steak, but it’s your dream wedding entrée, don’t sweat it. Have the steak. If your neighbor said they don’t like burlap, but you and your partner envisioned burlap everything, don’t even think twice about making your vision come true.

Consider the Alternatives

Don’t be afraid to consider non-traditional wedding options. Try to recognize where your planning hit a roadblock, and then decide if that roadblock is even necessary. This is your chance to change it up!

In Practice

Too many guests? Only invite close friends and family to the ceremony.

Trying to save on costs? Get married in the morning.

Bridal party choices problematic? Have a few male bridesmaids and female groomsmen.

Don’t want to bustle your gown? Wear a short dress for dancing.

Staying away from the florist? Make your own floral arrangements.

Dare to be different!