Although many grooms might seem uninterested in planning their wedding, it’s never a good idea to exclude your fiancé from the process. Below are five quick and easy tips on how to include him so you both end up with a wedding that truly reflects the two of you as a couple!

1. The Venue

When deciding on locations, make sure to consider the groom’s hobbies and interests. For example, if he likes to golf, consider hosting your event at a country club or golf course that offers complimentary foursomes with booked wedding ceremonies and/or receptions.

If microbrews are his thing, scout around for breweries or pubs; if he likes independent films, you could see about hosting your reception at a local movie theater. Matching your ceremony and/or reception to his interest is a great way to make him feel included in the big day.

2. Listen

Often grooms are reluctant to offer opinions for fear of contradicting their future wife. But just like a marriage, successful wedding planning relies on open and honest communication—and sometimes, you just might be surprised by his answers!

Asking his input on matters such as colors or favors is a great way to start the process. Bear in mind men often prefer to be asked these questions in private to avoid feeling pressured to agree to choices that contradict his personal preference. A good idea is to ask him ahead of time, so when you meet with vendors the two of you will have already come to agreement about possibilities.

3. Be Respectful
Being respectful of your groom’s personality is critical to avoid making him uncomfortable. If your guy is shy don’t plan on a choreographed grand entrance! Conversely, if he feeds off a crowd’s energy, devise a way to incorporate his charisma into the day’s events—one good way to do this is to have him write something humorous to include with the vow exchange. 

4. Compromise
Sometimes a groom can be very hands-off, which makes it difficult to know exactly what he wants. In that case, determining what he doesn’t want is the way to go.

One way to accomplish this for each of you to mark, on a scale of 1 – 5, how important something is to both of you. For example, if he rates a particular venue as a 5 and you rate it as a 3, consider letting him choose the location. Likewise, you might feel strongly about the color scheme, but he may be less concerned with that aspect of the event.

5. Take Advantage of His Natural Talents

Sometimes grooms assume the day belongs to the bride, and automatically stand back in the process. Give him a chance to be included by asking for help on wedding tasks well-suited to his personal skills and interests. For example:

If he’s a foodie, ask him to select the menu.

If he’s creative, ask him to design the invitations or centerpieces.

If he’s good at math, put him in charge of the budget.

If he’s organized, have him take over the RSVP list and seating arrangements.

As the big day draws near, he’ll naturally become more involved with the details—and that’s exactly as it should be. After all, the wedding belongs to both of you!

 

 Photo by Tony Alter.