Who do you call first with your big engagement news? Your mom? Best friends? Maybe a college roommate or that friend at work you constantly talked with about how he hadn’t yet popped the question?

When spreading your good news, make sure you don’t forget to tell someone who’s about to become one of the most important people in your life: His mother.

64% of brides polled post-wedding wished they'd more involved their mother-in-law in the planning stages. Get off on the right foot with some tips to ensure you’re part of the other 36%!

Brunch
Bringing together the two matriarchs of your soon-to-be joined family is a wonderful way to share the excitement of your pending nuptials, and inviting your mother and his to brunch to help kick off the planning process is just the trick. Not only will it bring the three of you closer, it also enables you to lay the groundwork for how each woman can help along the way.

The Dress Fits
Having your future mother-in-law accompany you while shopping for your wedding gown can be a great outing for the two of you. One of the biggest mistakes a mother-in-law can make is to wear a flamboyant dress to the ceremony, but by including her in your shopping excursions, you can openly discuss how her dress will complement the other attendees and steer her in the right direction.

Seating Arrangements
Do Uncle Mike and Tom still get along after the 4th of July incident? Do you think his brother Mike would like sitting next to your friend Melissa? When it comes to your side of the family, answering questions about who should sit next to whom is often an easy task.

But what about his side of the family? Asking his mother to help plan the seating chart is a great way to alleviate confusion, and inviting his sisters as well will only add to the fun. Grab a bottle of Merlot and some snacks, then sit down for a fun night of good stories while mapping out who sits where!

The Wedding is Out-of-Town
If you and your fiancé plan to wed in the town where your mother-in-law lives—and the two of you live elsewhere—she can be a valuable asset for helping organize the big day. Relying on her as the “city expert,” ask for suggestions on places to stay, eat, shop, and visit. You can also have her block hotel rooms, send arrival baskets, and email an itinerary to guests prior to their arrival. In this way, she’ll serve as a host for the weekend along with your own mother.

Rehearsal Dinner
The rehearsal dinner is the perfect occasion to bring out your mother-in-law’s hosting abilities. Even though planning the dinner is typically the groom’s responsibility, it’s a great idea to let your mother-in-law know your maid of honor is there to help with any planning or decorating.

Another way to include your mother-in-law is to have her give a speech. Although traditionally this task has been relegated to the best man and father of the bride, hearing from the woman who raised the groom is a touching and heartfelt way to honor her place in the family.

Mother/Son Dance
An important part of the reception, the mother/son dance requires as much planning as yours with your father, and sharing that responsibilty will mean a lot to the woman whose importance in your fiancé’s life can’t be underestimated. Reviewing song choices while sharing a home cooked meal—or over dinner at the restaurant where the two of you first dated—provides an intimate backdrop for this fun and touching task.

Gratitude
Finally, writing your mother-in-law a thank you card while on your honeymoon is a perfect note to strike as you begin your new life with your husband. Thanking her for raising a wonderful man will not only strengthen the bond that exists between the two of you, but also the one you and your husband share.