You’ve recently gotten engaged to the love of your life, you have a sparkly new accessory on your finger, and have found the most perfect venue for your big day! Nothing could possibly take the sun out of your sky, except when you start to think about the mounds of work it will take to officially spread the word on your upcoming nuptials. But have no fear. Here are the Who, What and When of getting your invitations off of your checklist.

Who

Who is going to be invited is one of the hardest questions for couples to answer. This is arguably the most discussed item on every couple’s planning checklist, and rightfully so. Of course you want everyone to be there to celebrate with you, but you can’t possibly afford it. The thing you want to keep in mind is this handy statistic: The average decline rate is upwards of 25%. This means that it is very likely that at least 25% of your invite list will not be able to come, which means you do have some wiggle room when creating your guest list. Feel free to extend a few more invitations than you plan to have people attend, and release the stress of having to cut some loved ones from the list!

What

The Wedding Invitation has many pieces! The first piece of mail is your Save the Date. This is usually a less formal, postcard style card that will have the most basic information for your big day – the date and the city. That’s it! Feel free to have fun and get creative with your Save the Date ideas. Your options are endless.

The Formal Invitation tends to be a little more complex. The largest piece is the invitation itself. It will have the full names of the couple (and sometimes their parents), the date and time of the event, the full address of where the event will take place, and any other important notes regarding dress code and attendance requests (i.e. Black Tie Optional and Adult Only Affair).

The Invitation should also include a Response Card or RSVP Card. This should match the invitation, but will be much smaller. This card should include the option for the guest to indicate if they can or cannot attend and, on some occasions, will have the option for them to pick their dinner choice. This card will also come with its own little envelope that you (yes you!) will be responsible for addressing and stamping so your guests can easily mail it back to you without any hassle! Other popular enclosures are Reception Cards, used if your ceremony and reception are in different spaces, and Accommodations Cards that will let out of town guests know information about reserving a hotel room close to the venue.

When

When to order your invitations is one of the most asked questions by couples when they jump in to the planning process. Save The Dates should be sent out first, especially to guests who are going to need to travel in from out of town. As a general rule, you want to get these little beauties in the mail around six months in advance. A very popular style of the Save the Date cards has a couple’s engagement photo on them. If this is what you have always envisioned, keep in mind you will need to nail down a photographer as well as a date for your engagement photo shoot before you order and mail the cards!

Formal Invitations should be sent out six to eight weeks before the big day. The response card should signify that the guests should mail the card back to you no later than 4 weeks before the wedding.

Several couples think that the earlier they send out the invitations, the better, but this is not always the case.  If you send out the invitations too early, your guests will RSVP “yes” because their schedules seem clear so far in advance. However, when something important does come up, they will no longer be able to attend. This will lead to a lot of last minute cancellations or no shows on your big day, which in the end will only cost you money. Also, if you do send out your invitation early, but don’t require the response card back for several weeks, guests will often think they have time to respond, which will lead them to forget to do so completely!

It then becomes your job to track down all of the guests that forgot to reply, and ask them if they are going to be able to come (which is a total headache). By only giving them a couple weeks to get the response card back to you, you are insuring that they will feel a little bit of pressure to send it back to you, and they will usually do so quickly!

- Robyn Rocca is the Private Event Director at Coyote Hills Golf Course